A rollercoaster called......

Why breastfeeding of course?! Strange topic for a blog post I know, and feel free to stop reading now if it doesn't interest you (as with any of my blogs) but I am feeling quite profound and deep today. Must be my new desk (blog post to come on the makeover extrordinaire!!)

The Breast versus bottle debate has been of hot topic lately, on Facebook and pages especially, but its a constant cause of arguements, and trust me, I am not about to start one, more sharing how I have felt about me journey/s with our cherubs.

I believe that Breastfeeding a baby would have to be THE BIGGEST emotional rollercoaster a mother has to endure. The pressure put on you by society, healthcare professionals and other Mothers is second to none with the pressure we place on ourselves. Constantly second guessing and doubting yourself , and your supply/technique/ timing is hard work, and before long, it all starts to take its toll.
Isn't it funny that your body requires sleep, proper nutrition and a constant and adequate intake of water, to produce milk and that of a high quality, yet it is the most sleep deprived, mal -nourished state that we will ever be in?! I don't know about anyone else, but the last thing I think of during the day, when I have a newborn, is eating myself. My needs go by the waste-side, and that of our baby/babies has always come first. This may have been my issue all along, who knows? All I do know is , that breastfeeding has never come easy to me, but my determination has got me through in the end.
The pressure I have felt  by some people to feed my babies, has always haunted me, and then on the other hand, the pressure I have felt to place them on a bottle, has angered me. Its like you can never get it right, but ultimately, its our decision, my decision and I have always treasured that. People are always quick to judge and even quicker to give their opinion and comments. Do I really need to know that you had so much milk you had to get rid of some before feeding your baby? Do I need to know that you gave up within 2 weeks? Share, sure, but sometimes oversharing , especially when you are feeling vulnerable, can often make things worse.
 I have always had our childrens best interests at heart, as have any mother, but I just wanted to give it a go. To say I tried, and thats the best anyone could do.

I am not the best feeder in the world (sorry if its Too much information, but I am real, this is real) and have always struggled to maintain a good supply and keep my babies satisfied for the length of time deemed to be appropriate, but who determines that? Who says that a baby should be fed only every 3-4 hours? Doctors? Nurses? A mother knows what is right by their own child, and thats how the schedule should be made. Sure, if a baby is demanding every 2 hours, its a pretty short length of time, but if you are prepared to get up and feed all that time, than power to you , I say!
I have taken supplements, herbs, baked cookies, eaten this, not eaten that, drank X amount of water , and tried (as much as a mother with newborn/s can) to sleep and rest , you name it, I have done it. All for milk supply. All to justify to myself and more so, to others that I "Have enough milk for my baby". All to avoid judgement and snide comments. But more for my baby, because in the end, thats why I am doing this.

If you are a good feeder, have an abundance of milk, and have never felt this way, then you are lucky. You are blessed and you should embrace it, however if you aren't , and you are much the same as me, I am sure you are relating to every word I say.
This emotional rollercoaster is hard.

I will never forget the day , that a paediatrician said to me that my beautiful baby boy (Max) had an allergy. He was allergic to milk protein. In my milk, in formula, in everything. He had to be placed on Prescription formula, or he was never going to be free from pain. And I wanted that. So desperately. I wanted my boy to sleep longer than 20 minutes at a time. Day and night. Seriously, twins and a baby waking every 20 minutes, how did we survive?
But we did, and I had to make the emotional decision to feed one baby and bottle feed the other. Twins. My two babies that I so desperately wanted to treat equally , and was more than conscious of doing so. But, he was happy, he started sleeping and the screaming stopped. Enough said. (He also had Reflux, BAD, and the meds worked a treat)
And you know what?! Max and Lacey are one in the same. Sure, Max is better at talking , (Lacey is more quiet and mischeiveous) but Lacey is better at climbling ladders, walking up slides and scaling furniture. Neither of them is better than the other, more advanced, or dampened by their form of nutrition and feeding. If you ever feel pressured or have been told that what you are doing/have done is wrong, they are prime examples.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE feeding my babies, but I am not anti formula either. From 2 weeks old, Stella was supplemented at night and slept through from 10 weeks, got to love that. Formula is great, and if I didn't want to feed or it eventuated that I just couldn't through lack of supply, I would be more than happy to bottle feed, but I do love it, and we are going great. Especially this time.
Feeding Angus has been the easiest out of my 3 pregnancies/sets of newborns. And for the first time in 4 years, I am enjoying it, and feel confident.
And its nice.
Really nice.
Lets hope I can continue until he is 12 months, and that my goal when I was first pregnant with Stella, 4 years ago, can finally be realised!

PLEASE know, this is NOT an attack on anyone, or any form of feeding. But a statement about me and my experiences.
Care to share yours? Go for it!! You never know, there may be someone out that that can relate, or just needs to hear the words you have to say!

Bragging

WARNING: This post has ALOT of photos from a doting Mum, she's got it bad!

I have survived the first week with Noel back at work, with the 4 kiddos. One hairy day in the mix, which wasn't too bad in the scheme of things.

Throw 3 Dance concert rehearsals (for Stella) a town day and a hungry baby going through a growth spurt (who am I kidding, Angus likes to feed alot ALL the time ) and the week was busy but good.

Adjusting to having a newborn around has been relatively easy, Angus is a beautiful, calm and content little boy, and has slotted into our family oh so well. He sleeps through all the screaming, bickering and laughing so thats a good thing! At times I am surprised his hearing isn't impaired!

However its the long feeds in the early days, with active and hungry children that make some times through the day a little busy!

Then there is the "getting ready to go out " thing. I had a system before Angus came along, and it was chaos enough, but now I have a 4th to feed , dress and pack for, it really IS busy!

BUT wouldn't have it any other way!

Our little surprise package has completed our family perfectly, filled my heart right to the brim with joy and has his whole family wrapped around his little fingers!

You love them instantly and somehow , the heart and life you thought could not get any fuller or bigger, makes way for one  more little miracle. Just when you think "I wonder if I have enough love to go around" you mind makes more than enough room, and there was never any doubt about it!

And just because I love him to death, and he poses without running off, I have been a bit snap happy. But how could I not? Devine, yes!

Angus Frankie, 3 weeks old

The big Dance concert is tomorrow, I am that excited its not funny and I am not even dancing!

I can't wait to share pics, and I will be back over the weekend with some "Normal" posts, or just ones that aren't full of my bragging!

Happy Weekend Eve!

xo

2 weeks

Our beautiful boy, Angus Frankie

A few snaps from today , 2 weeks old and so precious!

Sorry, just a quick one again, I am off to bed, he finally gave up the fight for sleep and I am off  to do the same!
I'll be back soon with some bigger posts, I have a bit planned, but if there is anything inparticular you would like to see/read , let me know!

Night all xo

Hospital Bags

Its ironic how when you are expecting your first baby, you go into the birth , however it happens, with excitement, anxiousness, and thinking of nothing other than your baby. Your husband gets to hang around, eat there, take photos, greet your visitors.

Then... with your second baby (or babies, like it was for us) the attention shifts to your first child. Making sure they are ok, settled, looked after, adjusting and coping with Mum being in hospital.

And then.... comes the next one. To say that I am nervous is an absolute understatement!! Not for my kids care, god they will be with my Mum when I am delivering and a few hours/ first night, after, and there is no one I would trust more with my kids, but for me. Nervous because I am THE WORST person to spend time away from my cherubs. I hate it. I cry. Alot!! Remember our Bali trip in May? hmmm SOOK!

And nervous for my little people, Stella will be fine, she LOVES her Grandma and Poppy and is old enough now to be super excited over her baby coming and understands why I am going to hospital. The twins however, are too young to know a thing! They have been patting my tummy, saying "babbbbbby" but they don't know what is actually in there! And they will be devastated and quite unsettled with me away.

Hell, they don't like me leaving to go to the shop! BUT.. they may surprise us and be absolutely fine, and we can only hope!

AND.... its not for long, they will survive and so will I!! Yes Liz, you will!

Anyhoooo, to make the hospital visits a little easier, more entertained and most importantly (for other patients ) QUIETER, I have put together some simple bags for the kiddos. Its another big worry for me about hospital, the fact that the other patients may not appreciate my 3 making noise, especially if they are first time Mums!!

So I have organised a bag for each child. I have had these bags in my sewing stash for a while. I originally purchased them from Target for 99c, with full intent on appliquing something cute on the front. Hmmm, into the box they went. So its nice to have a use for them. Stella is pink, Max is blue, Lacey is orange.

This is a peek inside Lacey's bag. Just a few things to occupy them, I don't know how the twins will go, but I think that if Stella is looking at her books etc, they will want to copy too!

Contents; A Wiggles Sticker and Colouring  book, Strawberry Shortcake Sticker book, Meeting the New Baby Activity book, a pencil case with new pencils and a small book to read. I have also got a few bags of lollies, and I will seperate into little glad bags for each visit. If all else fails, go the lollies!

This is the "Meeting the New Baby " Book. I bought it at Crazy Clarks , I think it cost about $4 , (actually all of the sticker books etc were either Crazy Clarks or Red Dot , I am a cheapskate, haha). I also managed to get one for School next year for Stella and a "Staying with Grandma" as the kids have never slept at my inlaws and Stella has only had a handful of sleepovers at my parents and most of them was when I had the twins last year.

Inside, they have activities about bathing, dressing, meeting your new baby and spaces to put the stickers provided. I think Max and Lacey will just like the stickers!

 

There are a few pages of the cool stickers too!! I couldn't believe my luck when I found these books, and I am going to keep them as a momento, so I am hoping they are a hit!

And the contents of Stella's bag, as its a bit fuller!

She has a Dora sticker book aswell, and her book is more age appropriate, and a pencil roll ( I also bought her a pencil case, just in case, she is sure to want one if I didn't buy it!)

 

Pretty simple, but these bags will stay at the hospital with me, and hopefully have some novelty effect and make the visits for Noel and the kids a bit more tame and bearable. I want Noel to be able to have quality time and cuddles with our bambino, and not have to make the visits quick because of the kids, darling husband will definately be feeling it and miss both me and the baby!!

Nearly 18 months

And LOVING cake!! Actually any food for that matter!

Can you believe it?! Max and Lacey are nearly 18 months old!!

Full of cheek and bravado, happy as larry one minute and cranky as anything the other.

They have started to fight like cat and dog, and the next minute, be tackling each other for cuddles.

Quite the little self feeders, and the mess is definately decreasing (thankGOD!)

Lacey LOVES strawberries and kiwi fruit, Max doesn't

Max LOVES apple and pear, Lacey doesn't

Lacey's witching hour starts at 5pm,

Max's starts at 4pm, (haha)

Lacey's favourite word at the moment is "Playschool"

Max's is "hat"

Lacey loves handbags , dolls and necklaces,

Max loves hats and shoes.

LOVING Chocolate cake!

And painting on the window with the icing!! hmmmm

And saying "CHEEEEESSSSEE" for Mum!

And saying it with a choc cake face aswell!

They are the most emotional, lovable, affectionate little people EVER!

                                    Their bond is growing more and more each and every day,

They give each other a goodnight kiss , each and every night.

They stroke each other when upset or sick

Bu they also like to steal toys off one another, on purpose, just to stir!!

Max and Lacey really are a gift. A special little surprise for our family, and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think (usually when they are sleeping ) that we are the luckiest parents, and family

IN THE WORLD!!

And just because he is CUTE! Max is loving his big sisters scooter, and has such confidence when using it!
Since when did my little babies grow up?  It only seems like yesterday that they were born,and I wrote THIS POST and yet, we are expecting another bub within days/weeks!!

 

The feelings I am having at the moment are definately mixed ones.

Excitement for finally being able to meet the hyperactive bambino inside,

Anxious of the labour / or possibility of another Caesarean Section

Concern about life afterwards with 4 kids under 3 1/2 years!! (ARGH)

Worry, about my little ones while I am in hospital, they will be well and truely well looked after by their father and Grandmother, but I will miss them, and I am sure they will miss me! ha

And now, the top of the list, exhaustion. This baby making bizzo is hard work, I have insomnia and am VERY uncomfortable, let alone running after, cleaning up after and performing damage control after 2 very active 18 month olds!

But we love them to bits!

xo

The Neutral Nursery

So I am up, its 2:02am and I just can NOT seem to fall asleep, so in fear of copping another grumpy outburst from darling (snoring!!) husband, I kindly removed myself from the bed and retired to the couch for some web action. Any entertainment will do!!

Why is it, that if I lay my head down during the day , I can fall asleep within a split second, yet at night time, when the house is still and quiet and its the perfect time for sleeping, I just can not. Insomnia sucks!!

I even watched the Episode of "One Born Every Minute" that I missed as I was out tonight. (Its a series on childbirth , set in a UK hospital at 8:30pm on SBS). It was purhaps, most definately, something I should not have viewed at this point in time, however there is something about childbirth that just reels me in. The emotion, the reactions, everything. So maybe the Insomnia isn't so bad after all?!!

Anyway, here to share some little bits of our VERY gender neutral Nursery. We have left the sex a surprise for our final addition to our family, and I just can't wait to find out!! So I decided to strip back the nursery, take off the decals and just go with a beige/white look with hints of green. All perfect for a little baby blue or soft pink to be added when the occasion calls!!

We are lucky enough to have borrowed a cradle for the bub to sleep in, seeing as though our cots are in use for the time being! Thats another job on the list, putting the twins in beds, but they are too mischeivious for their own good !!

My gorgeous chair that has lived in our room, in a new home. with some burp clothes waiting on the sidetable.

The changetable, pretty simple, the BABY sign I bought when I was expecting The twins, and its from Bed Bath and Table.

And the toiletries caddy. I bought this at a market about a year ago, and am finally finding a use for it. This way all the bubs essentials, will be easily transported to wherever needed , however most of the time it will live on the laundry bench)

As I said, very simple and neutral, I am desperately waiting to start creating and decorating for our new addition. Or more I am desperately waiting for our new addition!!!
Hmm off to try and catch some Zzzzz's!

Food

In the past week or so, a few of my friends that have babies a similar age to ours, have asked me what I feed them. Now I am no Master Chef, nor an expert in baby food, but I do know what my babies like (or at least I like to think I do!!). Seeing as though Max and Lacey have been eating solids since 4 months (paeds orders), they are pretry good on the tooth!! We are now at a lumpy and chewing consistancy, even though they only have 2 teeth each. I have been just cooking and mashing different varieties of vegetables together, anything and everything, but its time to introduce some flavour! A few nights ago , we had Spaghetti Bog for tea.

Just the normal way I cook it, but I added grated carrot, chopped zucchini (should have grated) cauliflower and onion. Obviously we ate it as a family that night, but now Max and Lacey have it for their lunch and or/dinner at times. I just mashed it all with a potato masher and it was ready. Lacey LOVES it, Max not so much, he is a much fussier eater, like bland food and lots of it!!So I havce learnt now to add some baby rice (we use Rafferty's) and he likes it better!

Don't get me wrong, my babies eat packet and market bought food, but I prefer to make it all myself, and know what they are getting and eating.

Speaking of foo0d, how about these yummy, scrummy mangoes that we bought from a van outside Bunnings on Sunday!! I can't wait until they are ready to be eaten!!

This is how they man told us to ripen them. Add a banana on top and cover with tea towel and they will ripen in no time!

I love summer!!

Diva Displays

Ok... so settling in to the everyday grind is proving to be alot harder than ever before , for our little family.
The babies were fantastic teethers while we were away and slept well, and anywhere they could. However, poor Max is struggling this week, crying at the drop of a hat and putting on a real show. Dropping his head to the floor and everything, poor little man. He just wants to be held, which is fine if you have the time, and only one baby to hold! However, we dont....
And Stella, well, love her to bits but unfortunately not the Stella we have at the moment. I think a combination of late nights, full on days at the beach and over excitement and sugar indulgence (when she rarely eats sugar) is taking its toll on the little chicken. AND Mummy of course!!
So... the naughtly spot has had a little workout of late, and with due reasons, and it works, so we will continue until after this phase passes or she settles down.
I am trying to think positively, but I think that the "Terrible Two's" has bitten us on the bum!! Argh
 Here is our little darling, being a Diva, on her first day at home from holidays. Loving her new toys and clothes and just .....being a diva, and boy does she do it well!!
Complete with Ballerina Jiffy's (Aka Angelina Shoes), Leotard, tutu frou frou, and hairdressing equipment (curling tong from her set).

Oh dear, what are we in for?