Please note - This post has alot of whinging, be prepared!! I am feeling sorry for myself!
I have declared today the "crack the poops" day! Whats that saying about the straw that broke the camels back? Well I think today I had the whole bloody box of straws thrown at my back! ( different straws I know, but YKWIM right?
And did it break? Nearly!
Am I a broken women? Nearly... not quite.... maybe
But tomorrow is a new day, well that is what I keep telling myself! And I am going to try and think positively!
Well it seems having two , 2 year olds is starting to take its toll on me!! Fellow twin Mummy's will understand!!
TWO 2 year olds!!
Now I am not saying that one 2 year old is not bad, because I know that it is and I remember thinking to myself when Stella was 2 , "Gee, this is hard, these terrible two's suck!" and I would have hissy fits, be cranky when DH got home from work, wonder if life was going to get better ( I had the twins when Stella had just turned 2 so that could have had something to do with it too!) But in hindsight , she was PERFECT!! Didn't touch something after she was told not to, didn't run away when supposed to be walking somewhere, never ran amok in a shop or cafe.
But every Mum ( of kids older than 2!) know what is like to have a darling 2 year old, but 2!!!!! Two!!
And these precious twins of ours, if you say "Don't touch that" they stare you in the eyes, and touch it to spite you. Seriously!
You feel powerless, you feel like you have no control. And they are my own children.
Its like they gang up on you!! They scheme behind the scenes, plot their attack and bam! Gotcha MUM!!!
Their moods feed of each other, they demand cuddles and solo affection at the same time. They know the perfect time to act up, and its usually when you just start a phone conversation!
And today I had a down day. I like to call them "Mental Health Days" . I might be a tad depressed, I don't know, its such a broad spectrum, but really I think that things are just piling up.
I have had a bad day and its hard. Its hard to pick yourself back up , dust yourself off and soldier on. But You have to, I have to. My family depends on me. And really, is anything that bad?
The washing that I just can NOT get to take off the line daily.
My floors that are rank because I just can not get to vac and mop in the one go and there is no point mopping without vacuuming etc.
The screaming that continues for what seems like eternity , until you feel like your ears are bleeding?
Timing is not the best here either. We have just about finished with our toilet training of Max and Lacey.
Angus has just popped his first tooth .
And we have commenced "Operation Wean off the dummy" Its serious business for our darling Max!! He loves nothing more than his sooky Teddy rug and Dummy.
The easy option? Let him have it whenever he pleases. It would stop the screaming and ease the days considerably. But that's not an option for me.
We have started and now we can't stop, well I feel anyway. Short term pain for long term gain.
There are plenty of reasons why I should let him have them. He's snuffly, he's tired, he's a bit vulnerable with the toileting. But that could go on forever!
I think I am down on a lot of things. I am down on friendships. Friends you thought cared and don't, friends you thought appreciated and don't, friends you thought valued your time and energy , and don't.
I am down on life. I am down on the lack of time and the lack of money ( haha isn't everyone?)
But I think I am feeling more disappointment than anything!
My best friend and I were talking today , about disappointment is one of the worst feelings in life I believe. Anger you can calm down, upset and you can cry it out and eat some comfort food and Bobs your Uncle, but there isn't a quick fix for feeling let down. Once it happens. Its with you for life.
And you know what is the saddest thing? If I was offered total child free time, which never EVER happens, you know what I would want to do? Its not a facial, its not a massage, its not reading a mag with a coffee.
I would LOVE to mop my floor. I would LOVE to clean my windows.
Or maybe I would LOVE the time to be able to do those things if I so wish?!
And if I had that sort of time, all the time.
Perhaps relaxing would be nice too!!
But hey, I only have 18 years to wait for that , right?!!
Tomorrow is a new day.
I am real.
This is keeping it real.
If you had this sort of day too, or have them quite regularly, you are NOT alone. And don't EVER think you are!!
Tomorrow is a new day... Bring it on!!