Please note - This post has alot of whinging, be prepared!! I am feeling sorry for myself!
I have declared today the "crack the poops" day! Whats that saying about the straw that broke the camels back? Well I think today I had the whole bloody box of straws thrown at my back! ( different straws I know, but YKWIM right?
And did it break? Nearly!
Am I a broken women? Nearly... not quite.... maybe
But tomorrow is a new day, well that is what I keep telling myself! And I am going to try and think positively!
Well it seems having two , 2 year olds is starting to take its toll on me!! Fellow twin Mummy's will understand!!
TWO 2 year olds!!
Now I am not saying that one 2 year old is not bad, because I know that it is and I remember thinking to myself when Stella was 2 , "Gee, this is hard, these terrible two's suck!" and I would have hissy fits, be cranky when DH got home from work, wonder if life was going to get better ( I had the twins when Stella had just turned 2 so that could have had something to do with it too!) But in hindsight , she was PERFECT!! Didn't touch something after she was told not to, didn't run away when supposed to be walking somewhere, never ran amok in a shop or cafe.
But every Mum ( of kids older than 2!) know what is like to have a darling 2 year old, but 2!!!!! Two!!
And these precious twins of ours, if you say "Don't touch that" they stare you in the eyes, and touch it to spite you. Seriously!
You feel powerless, you feel like you have no control. And they are my own children.
Its like they gang up on you!! They scheme behind the scenes, plot their attack and bam! Gotcha MUM!!!
Their moods feed of each other, they demand cuddles and solo affection at the same time. They know the perfect time to act up, and its usually when you just start a phone conversation!
And today I had a down day. I like to call them "Mental Health Days" . I might be a tad depressed, I don't know, its such a broad spectrum, but really I think that things are just piling up.
I have had a bad day and its hard. Its hard to pick yourself back up , dust yourself off and soldier on. But You have to, I have to. My family depends on me. And really, is anything that bad?
The washing that I just can NOT get to take off the line daily.
My floors that are rank because I just can not get to vac and mop in the one go and there is no point mopping without vacuuming etc.
The screaming that continues for what seems like eternity , until you feel like your ears are bleeding?
Timing is not the best here either. We have just about finished with our toilet training of Max and Lacey.
Angus has just popped his first tooth .
And we have commenced "Operation Wean off the dummy" Its serious business for our darling Max!! He loves nothing more than his sooky Teddy rug and Dummy.
The easy option? Let him have it whenever he pleases. It would stop the screaming and ease the days considerably. But that's not an option for me.
We have started and now we can't stop, well I feel anyway. Short term pain for long term gain.
There are plenty of reasons why I should let him have them. He's snuffly, he's tired, he's a bit vulnerable with the toileting. But that could go on forever!
I think I am down on a lot of things. I am down on friendships. Friends you thought cared and don't, friends you thought appreciated and don't, friends you thought valued your time and energy , and don't.
I am down on life. I am down on the lack of time and the lack of money ( haha isn't everyone?)
But I think I am feeling more disappointment than anything!
My best friend and I were talking today , about disappointment is one of the worst feelings in life I believe. Anger you can calm down, upset and you can cry it out and eat some comfort food and Bobs your Uncle, but there isn't a quick fix for feeling let down. Once it happens. Its with you for life.
And you know what is the saddest thing? If I was offered total child free time, which never EVER happens, you know what I would want to do? Its not a facial, its not a massage, its not reading a mag with a coffee.
I would LOVE to mop my floor. I would LOVE to clean my windows.
Or maybe I would LOVE the time to be able to do those things if I so wish?!
And if I had that sort of time, all the time.
Perhaps relaxing would be nice too!!
But hey, I only have 18 years to wait for that , right?!!
Tomorrow is a new day.
I am real.
This is keeping it real.
If you had this sort of day too, or have them quite regularly, you are NOT alone. And don't EVER think you are!!
Tomorrow is a new day... Bring it on!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Sorry but I have to laugh a little...my 2 boys are not twins but are very close in age and they gang up on me!! Its exactly as you describe!! They are now 4 and 3....hopefully there is an end in sight!
ReplyDeleteHope tomorrow is a much easier day for you!
Hoping that you're waking up to a brighter day today Liz. You amaze me everyday. You're an amazing mother and wife and sometimes I just don't know how you do it!! I love your honesty ( it does make me feel silly abouty whining about my two singles sometimes) and I hope the light at the end of the whining tunnel is starting to shine for you. I wish I knew you better to offer a hand or a shoulder or an ear. Xxx Keegan Rigby
ReplyDeleteI only have two kids so it's different in that way but I hear you on the "if I had a day off..." I had plans to play (don't laugh) Neopets and get a massage...all I want to do is sort cupboards and clean things that will need cleaning again when I'm back at work anyway =o\
ReplyDeleteI don't know how you are surviving. I wish you lived closer so I could come and do those floors for you. I seriously don't know if I would still have hold of my sanity if I had two 2 year olds - one is driving me batty enough! And if Jas crawls through one more toilet training accident I may need a straight jacket! Hugs to you xx
ReplyDeleteYou certainly have your hands full and I don't think there would be one person that would suggest it is wrong to feel the way you do.
ReplyDeletelast weekend I was fortunate enough to go away for the night to a kid free venue, with a bunch of mums. we opted for rest and relaxation over partying because we are all in the same boat.
it was the first time ever since I had kids that I went home and had the energy to just step back into my mum shoes. because usually we head away for the night, go out, do stuff. this time, I had a nanna nap, ate good food, chatted with other mums, had a laugh, slept in. Seriously, you need to just shack up with your sister or friend for a night in a nice motel, watch a dvd, order take in, read a mag and go to bed. if it's possible! but beyond that, you are right, everyday is a new day to start a fresh. the kids don't hang onto it, neither should we.
Hi Liz, I hope you know there is nothing wrong with thinking things are getting you down. I'm sure you have heard it but please go to your doctor if it all gets too much. When Mikala was about 15 weeks old I found that I just couldn't do it all and having a 2year old who I now know was Autistic I had to ask for help. But now they are 3 and 4 3/4 years and SOOOOOOO much easier most of the time. I am amazed I made it through and I only had 3 children! Thinking of you, Annaleis
ReplyDeleteHey Liz! Been a bit since I read your blog, I'm like you, if anyone could offer me free time, all I am thinking about is what can I get clean!
ReplyDeleteJust lately, I've been feeling a bit similar with friendships. I think as we grow, we change somewhat towards the relationships we have with people and we should't feel bad if it's time to move on...iykwim? For me, just being out with people who make me smile and happy and feeling good when I come away is helping loads, and if I want to have a meltdown then so be it, try not to get down too much about what other people think about it, awesome people who you come along in life will think you sooooo much better for it. Take care Bizzy Lizzy X Jasmine
Hi liz
ReplyDeleteI have boy/girl twins.. who turned 2 on sunday.. the 27th of May. So.. I totally understand and was nodding the whole way through your post LOL.
I also have 3 older children.. 7yrs, 5yrs and nearly 4yrs..and a husband that does fly-in/fly-out... So my days are very full on...and such a blur LOL.
If you don't laugh sometimes... you will cry.
Take care sweetie..
I hope you are feeling better!
Kathreen
Ok, believe me, I know I only have one, so I KNOW I can not relate.
ReplyDeleteBut you hit SO many nails on the heads right here in this post for me.
I am in a bit of a funk at the moment, & I was trying to explain to my husband that I just feel like I have no sense of achievement.
I pride myself on a clean house. And it's just IMPOSSIBLE at the moment, because I sleep off my night shifts when Max has his day sleep, & then my night shifts start at 7pm when he goes to bed.
So, I watch the house get messier, & messier. And I say, I don't want a massage/pedicure/facial.
I just want a night where I call in sick to work.
Clean like a mother (flipper), then retire for the evening EARLY & sleep like a machine.
Ah ... yes!
That is what I want.
Thankyou for this post. I needed to read it, HONESTLY.
I see your stunning CLEAN home on IG, & I think, she has 4! HOW is she so amazing.
I know so much hard work goes into a clean home.
You are doing an INCREDIBLE job, let me tell you!
So much love xoxoxoxox
Thanks so much for all of the support girls!
ReplyDeleteIts so nice to know that motherhood ties everyone together and we all share a common bond.
Cherie, I will wish upon the brightest star for a day off and good sleep for you sweet!
You do such an amazing job, and made such a difference to your lives, just remember that xo
I have just had your blog recommended to me and I was so glad to see this post. It made me appreciate that I am not alone in feeling that way sometimes. I have two children only 15 months apart. My son will be 3 in August and my daughter is 19 months.
ReplyDeleteI get so frustrated at times when you tell one not to do something so the other one immediately goes and does it. Like well you only said he/she couldn't do it you didn't say anything about me.
I also find it almost impossible to get my floors clean. Their nap's only overlap by about 30mins most days at the moment so getting the floor mopped in that time just doesn't happen. If I try while they are up I end up with little footprints on my wet floor and by the end of the day I am worn out.
Between housework, some paid work I do from home and keeping the kids entertained I have a lot of demands on my time and sometimes it all gets too much.
Thank-you so much for sharing your feelings so honestly and helping me realise I am not alone.
I have just had your blog recommended to me and I was so glad to see this post. It made me appreciate that I am not alone in feeling that way sometimes. I have two children only 15 months apart. My son will be 3 in August and my daughter is 19 months.
ReplyDeleteI get so frustrated at times when you tell one not to do something so the other one immediately goes and does it. Like well you only said he/she couldn't do it you didn't say anything about me.
I also find it almost impossible to get my floors clean. Their nap's only overlap by about 30mins most days at the moment so getting the floor mopped in that time just doesn't happen. If I try while they are up I end up with little footprints on my wet floor and by the end of the day I am worn out.
Between housework, some paid work I do from home and keeping the kids entertained I have a lot of demands on my time and sometimes it all gets too much.
Thank-you so much for sharing your feelings so honestly and helping me realise I am not alone.